Where To Go This Year For Vacation
by Benjamin Bradleyhttp://BenDominatesmlm.com
It’s the beginning of the year and time to start thinking about planning a vacation for the summer. Where to go? Do I want to go overseas? France maybe. My wife would love it. What more could a woman want? A romantic vacation with art, history and rude people who hate our guts. Landmarks galore await! The Eiffel Tower, The Louv’re and the trench where thousands of French soldiers shit their pants in WWII. France is famous for its fine cuisine as well. That’s good because my wife loves to try new food. Escargo(pronounced S-CAR-GO), I hear it is the thing to try. I understand Marco Polo brought it from Italy because he got sick of crepes, or was that spaghetti? Whatever. I’m not sure I would feel safe in France. I mean this is the country who surrendered to Raoul Fernandez in 1987 when Raoul’s 1974 Ford LTD rolled over the border when he forgot to set the emergency brake. Apparently they thought they were being invaded by Spain.
I think France is out. Too much can go wrong there. Maybe I should consider Mexico. I hear Acapulco is beautiful in the fall when all the leaves change color. They match the bedsheets hanging in windows beautifully. I used to watch Wide World of Sports back in the day when Keith Jackson was commentating cliff diving. This was before college football had been invented. I used to imagine myself up there getting ready to fly like a bird off the cliff into the crystal blue water. My dad always told me,” Ben! You don’t want to dive into that water! If you swallow any you’ll have the shits for days!” I was only 4 years old so I made the connection that diving into water gave you the shits. I refused to go swimming at my grandmother’s house for months until someone explained to me that only Mexican water gives you the shits. So glad I cleared that up. I love to swim. Maybe Mexico isn’t the best choice either. If I want to pretend to visit Mexico, I can go to the local Home Depot parking lot.
I need to go far away. I figure somewhere warm and sunny would be the best. Ahh..southeast Asia. India sounds like fun. There is so much to do there. If I time it right, I might catch the famous car race they have there. It’s a 500 mile race in a circle. It’s so funny, you should see it. There is tons of history there too. We could see where the battle of Little Big Horn took place and where Custer surrendered. The food is great also. You can get a tornado burrito and a fountain drink on any corner for $1.99. I think they call them tornado burritos because they give you the trots. India may not be for my wife. She hates rain, and I hear the locals have a special dance that can make it rain whenever they do it.
I guess the only choice I have is Australia…birthplace of the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger. Would you do me a favor and suggest a vacation spot for me? I just can’t decide for myself. This would be so cool. I could be like the previous fascist dictator Clinton when he took a poll of the American people on where he should take his brother Hillary on vacation. Help me out please.
Article submitted Wednesday, February 03, 2010 & read 121 times.
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